AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness! I absolutely cannot wait!  

Kelli... I am thinking of you! If we are even in the same vicinity during the opening of this PLEASE can we go together??!!!

Summer/Fall Update Finally

Ok everyone! I have finally gotten my act together (and pictures) and am doing one giant summer/fall update! I apologize for how long it took me to do this! :) Not going to lie, part of the hesitance to get things updated is that I gained a lot of weight this year from all of the stress of my previous emotional job   and other random stresses in life. However, I have decided that I just need to realize we all have our ups and downs in weight and soon (now that I have been running and exercising on a regular basis) I will be back to a comfortable healthy weight and proud to look back at these pictures and see how far I have come! Anyway... here we go folks!

SUMMER

Summer was filled with A LOT of fun! In the past, Ty and I have always been so busy with school and our 2-3 jobs each, that summers have not always been so great. However, Ty cut back to one job and I quit my job and was unemployed for 2 months this summer, so we had time to have fun! 

Ty and I on the Carousel at Hogle Zoo

Our first adventure was taking a trip down to Provo and Salt Lake to see my sister Carlene. Ty and I went to Hogle Zoo because we are 5 yrs old, and we also went with Ty's family to Lagoon. 

Ty thought it would be ironic since I HATE spiders!

We had such a blast, and I got FRIED since I hadn't seen the sun in ages!

 Erica and I waiting for the Ferris Wheel

The next adventure was Ty participating in Logan's craft summerfest this year! Neither of us had ever done anything like this before, and although it was slightly (ok, maybe more than slightly) stressful, it was still a lot of fun! Here is a picture of some of the flowers Ty made... 

The star making some more flowers at his stand. 

Some of the flower fun. I helped paint them! YAY!

The next adventure was something Ty completely surprised me with. He literally woke me up one day and just said, "We are going on an adventure! Pack your things!" Well, secrets don't sit well with me because I tend to have to know everything! So I finally got it out of him about halfway through the drive where we were going... FLAMING GORGE!!! 

This was probably one of the most interesting trips I had ever been on. Tyler had not booked anywhere for us to stay, so when we got there it was hilarious trying to find a hotel. Then, we spent a whole day just sitting on a little fishing boat that we rented with our puppy in the middle of the lake talking and having a blast! Honestly, it really was a fun and adventurous trip! I didn't get too many pictures, but here are a few:

Ty found this on the side of the road! HA!

The rest of the summer consisted of trips to Bear Lake, A LOT of fishing, and hanging out quite a bit with our friends Kristen and Richard Christensen. Here is a last view of the summer fun...

Kristen and I at Bear Lake! SO FUN!

I caught a fish! (Don't look at my nasty fat arm)

Kristen and her husband at Bear Lake. Aren't they cute!

This sign is a REALLY long story! But every time I look at it... I can't help but BUST up laughing!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ok, the last thing that I am going to add to this MASSIVE blog are a few pictures of this beautiful fall! Seriously, Fall makes me so happy!



Here are a few pictures of my crazy fall decorations! YAY!

Ty made an AMAZING pumpkin soup, and to doll it up he turned these little pumpkins into soup bowls! I thought it was so clever! AND YUMMY!!!!

Anyway everyone, that is the end of this long overdue update! Hopefully the upcoming holidays will be blogged in a timely manner. Ha! Love you all! 

Till next time...

Hard Changes and Autumn Time...

I apologize for being non-existent for awhile. There have been some changes in the Despain family that I honestly haven't wanted to think about let alone blog about. :) As I have mentioned before, I have been given the opportunity to go to Pennsylvania for a music therapy internship. Originally, the plan was for Tyler and I to uproot and start anew together in Pennsylvania. However, Tyler has had no luck with trying to get a job in Pennsylvania and the economy there is slowly getting worse and worse. We also used quite a bit of our savings for some unexpected struggles in our life as of recently and we would have to use the rest to get us and our things moved to Pennsylvania. After a lot of crying, praying, and talking to our families... Ty and I have decided that what would be best for us financially as well as what would be best for Tyler's future schooling would be for me to go to Pennsylvania alone (which would allow me to live at the internship site with EVERYTHING paid for) and Tyler to stay in Logan working and saving money for him to start school in September 2012. 

I honestly can tell you that this decision has been extremely emotional and hard. I love Tyler and cannot imagine seeing him and being with him on a daily basis. However, Tyler and I (no matter how much we hate the idea) feel right about this decision. 

Anyway, that is the newest of changes in our lives so far...

On a much more happy note, AUTUMN IS HERE!!! Fall is by far my favorite time of year; and Halloween is more fun for me than Christmas! :) As of today, my house is officially decked out in fall and Halloween decorations! Yesterday was the first day it really felt like fall. It rained all day in Logan, and that evening the air smelled so fresh and crisp. I seriously went to bed last night with a GIANT smile on my face as the breeze from my window kept hitting my face. 

I am FINALLY working on one big giant summer overview blog! I promise it will be here soon. I will leave with a picture of my darling puppy Griff...

Isn't he a cutie... :)

Till next time...

Having A Blast Doing Nothing...

I promise I have A TON of pictures and updates coming soon... but for now, I wanted to let everyone know I finally was able to get a job! I am working as a Utility Processor for Conservice. Probably none of you  have a clue what that means... but basically, I get paid to sit and type the same thing over and over and over. Ha! Honestly, it was exactly what I was looking for after the high stress of my last job! Anyway, YAY CONSERVICE!!!

The last thing I am going to share in this blog is the wonderful adventures Tyler and I created together tonight. Ha! I love that we can be doing absolutely NOTHING and yet still have the time of our lives! I have this noodle spoon (the ones with little spikes around the edge) that I use as a back scratch-er (No I don't use it on food anymore...). Well, while listening to a bunch of different movie theme songs, I got pretty hyper and started hitting Tyler with the spoon to the different rhythms of the music. HA! Well, after laughing about the annoyance for awhile, Ty finally got sick of it and decided to get me back...BY LICKING MY FACE!!! EEEEWWWW!!!!! Basically, we ended up on the bed hysterically laughing while our dog tried to lick us and eat us because he had no idea what was going on... 

BEST NIGHT EVER!!!!

Book of the Month: The Book of Lies

Technically, my husband bought this book for himself thinking that it was a book based on the history of Cain and Able and whatever happened to the world's first murder weapon (he is into historical and informational books, unlike me...ha). Last night, after not being able to sleep, I pulled it off of the shelf and read the description and realized that it was actually a fiction novel based on historical facts (much like The Da Vinci Code). I was intrigued and began reading...

11 hours and only 3 hours of sleep later, I finished this incredible page turner in awe of this author (Brad Meltzer). WOW!! I would recommend this book to ANYONE!!!!

Here are a few highlights:

"Wouldn't it be great if we could live life backwards? You start out dead and get that out of the way-- then you wake up in old age and feel better every day. With each passing year, your illnesses disappear, and you get more hair, more handsome,  more virile-- and best of all, you keep getting younger, finally ending life as a fantastic orgasm!"

HA HILARIOUS RIGHT!!!! Here is another one:

"There's the life you live and the life you leave behind. But what you share with someone else-- especially someone you love-- that's not just how you bury your past. It's how you write your future."

I think that is my favorite for sure... 

Anyway, there is my rant for the day! I know that I will be reading more Brad Meltzer in the future!

Beauty In The Little Things...

To be honest, it is hard to describe in words how I have been feeling recently. It isn't that I haven't been happy, but I have been completely unmotivated. Then the other day while reading a letter I got awhile ago from friend, something really hit me. This one sentence jumped out of the page...

"I am starting to think being happy is a choice, do you agree?"

That one question has inspired me to write this blog. I need to choose to be happy. I can't let stupid trivial trials make me forget all of the amazingly beautiful things that are currently in my life.

Life is beautiful because the sun is shining.

Life is beautiful because I have a puppy that snuggles with me in the morning.

Life is beautiful because my puppy and I went on a walk this morning.

Life is beautiful because of the bright pink flowers in my yard.

Life is beautiful because I have a piano.

Life is beautiful because my husband brought me a lady bug this morning.

Life is beautiful because I have pink nail polish on.

Life is beautiful because I showered and put make-up on this morning.

Life is beautiful because my kitty has conversations with me.

Life is beautiful because my house smells like Apples and laundry.

Life is beautiful because I made the bed this morning.

Life is beautiful because I have fresh watermelon in my fridge.

Life is beautiful because our house is shaded by HUGE gorgeous trees that make it so I don't die of heat.

Life is beautiful because I have a family who is healthy and who loves and cares for me no matter what mistakes I make. 

Life is beautiful because I talked with my mother-in-law last night.

Life is beautiful because I am making a delicious chicken dinner tonight.

Life is beautiful because I have lost 7 lbs. since I quit UINTA.

Life is beautiful because I am beginning the process of healing all of the relationships I have damaged because of my ego.

Life is beautiful because i have a husband who is learning how to fix my car so we don't have to spend money.

Life is beautiful because my husband is making me a Djembe.

Life is beautiful because Ty and I can tell each other how we feel.

Life is beautiful because I have a husband who writes me love notes before going to work.

Life is beautiful because when I can't sleep, my husband wakes up randomly through the night and hugs and kisses me while he is half asleep. 

Life is beautiful because I know Tyler loves me unconditionally.

Life is beautiful because even though God and I have had a distant relationship lately, I still know without a shadow of a doubt that he watches over me and loves me.

Danny and Annie

I know I am posting WAY too much! But there is one more thing I wanted to share for today. A friend shared this with me, and I am still in tears. Ha! What a darling little couple... 

TYLER< I LOVE YOU!

Summer

The NUMBER ONE reason I love summer... the flowers! Here is a picture of some flowers I picked from our yard just the other day. I think they are unique and absolutely magnificent! 

-Airs

Big News

Hello again everyone! I am definitely on a blogging role here. (Granted I have nothing else to do with my time... all I do is clean the house 5 times a day, and journal. Ha!)

Anyway, the finale of these blog updates is another big change that will be happening this coming year for Ty and I. The last semester I researched and applied to a few different internships. Two hospitals Texas and one residential facility in Pennsylvania (Bethany Children's Home). To be honest, when I applied I just had a good feeling about Pennsylvania and truthfully I didn't put a whole lot of effort into the other internship applications. I got a call from Bethany Children's Home for an interview around mid-May and I was super excited! The interview (I thought) went really well. They said they would be calling me at the beginning of June sometime to let me know their decision. 

Well, mid/late-June hit and I began feeling scared I didn't get the internship. Last week I even began researching online again for some other options that would be similar to Bethany's. 

Then this past Sunday night I had a dream... (yes I like being dramatic!)

I actually dreamed that I had been given the internship and I literally remember feeling SO RELIEVED!!! Monday morning arrived, Ty went off to work, and I stayed home and began my cleaning rituals. I was in the middle of doing the dishes when my phone rang in the other room. I couldn't get to it fast enough so it went to machine. I looked at the number and immediately recognized the area code as being Pennsylvania. I got so excited and literally sat down holding my phone waiting until it signaled that there was a voice mail. 

After that DING signaled the message, I listened to it intently and literally screamed when it registered that they were offering me an internship position. I was by myself jumping, yelling, and balling!! I am sure if anyone was watching they would have thought loony bin for sure!

Anyway, (wow that was a LONG explanation... I apologize) the end to this long blurb is that Tyler and I will be moving to Wormelsdorf, Pennsylvania in January of 2012. I think both of us are a little scared for this new adventure... but are also ecstatic that we have been given such a great opportunity! 

If any of you are interested in reading a little about Bethany Children's Home and what I will be doing, their site is HERE. You will also find great information specifically on their Music Therapy program HERE.

Till Next Time...

Airs

Embracing Change...

To be honest, I am feeling scared out of my mind about all of the changes that have been happening in my life as of late. As I blogged before, graduation came first. Well, the next abrupt change was not one that I had planned or even thought about. As most of you know, I worked at a facility with troubled teen girls, and had been there for just under on year. I honestly cannot express how much those girls meant and still mean to me! Well, about three weeks ago, it finally hit me how much that job was taking a toll on my physical, emotional, and psychological well being. I was literally turning into a different person; a person I didn't like, and a person my husband was definitely struggling with. So, with a lot of hard thoughts, prayers, and deliberation... I decided to put in my two weeks notice and leave all of these girls I cared about so much. I fought with myself consistently for the two weeks and went back and forth on the decision (probably driving my boss crazy), but when my final day came it was definitely bitter sweet. I worked a double that day and even though all of the girls struggled  (as well as myself) when I told them that would be my last day, I really did feel right about the decision I had made. That night, I left the girls with a song that I wrote awhile ago for a music therapy session. It may seem slightly cheesy, but it seemed to mean a lot to them and it definitely meant A LOT to me! Here are the lyrics...

EMBRACE THE CHANGE

Change, it's a word I know well and as far as I can tell you do too.

Change, when you just got back on your feet and your thinking that the suns coming out.

Trials tend to come around right when we think that we have just found happiness.

So let me introduce to you a concept that I wish I knew better.

Smile through the change! 

And dance even though the rain is pouring down.

Embrace what you feel!

Life's lessons will teach you and make this journey surreal.

Now I know that this lesson may seem much easier said than done. 

But change, through perserverance and time can become a verse well sung.

Though hard times tend to leave us down. We lose our path and hold on ground, remember...

The future can't be set in stone, sometimes what's best is the unknown

And so....

Smile through the change!

And dance even though, the rain is pouring down!

Embrace what you feel!

Life's lessons will teach us and make this journey surreal!

Anyway, I think that sharing this song with the girls and seeing them have to deal with change and struggle on a day-to-day basis really taught me how to embrace the changes and challenges in my life as well. Ultimately, the decision to leave my job was hard, but I know that it was a necessary change for both me and the girls I worked with. 

Till next time...

Airs

Long Time...

I apologize for my absence from the blogging world. Not going to lie, things have been INSANE!!! However, there are definitely some changes that have happened in my life the last few months. 

First: graduation...

Although I technically won't be getting my diploma until I finish my internship, it still felt like such a huge accomplishment walking in front of my friends and family to accept my "fake" diploma as a double music therapy/ vocal performance major. What an accomplishment that was ultimately six years in the making. Here are a few pictures from THE DAY!!!!

Me accepting my blank diploma. Ha!

The woman who made it all possible... Maureen Hearns! I love you Maureen!

 My darling husband who supported and encouraged me the entire way through!!

And all of my music therapy girlies that did it right along with me! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Ultimately, it was a great day and was very much worth it! 

I AM A PROUD GRADUATE OF UTAH STATE UNIVERSITY

Hear, Hear! All Ye Who Care!

Hello friends and family! The time has finally arrived when Arianne Chadwick Despain will be getting her double bachelor's degree in both Music Therapy and Vocal Performance, entering internship (somewhere in the U.S.), and moving on to the real world beyond school. Yes, it has taken me almost 6 years to accomplish this (sort've pathetic). But to me, the feeling of accomplishment I will have when this semester is over is going to be so great, I won't be able to contain myself! 

If any of you are interested... 

save the date to come watch me accept this new beginning in my life by attending the commencement ceremonies on 

MAY 7, 2011 at 9:30 a.m./ followed by the music department ceremony at 2:00 p.m.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

...Arianne

Less Than Perfect

I have been feeling really overwhelmed lately. Not only with 19 credits, a full time job, applying for internships, finishing my graduation application, and taking care of the house; but also just feeling completely overwhelmed with having to face my past emotions and insecurities on a daily basis when working with the teen girls I work with.

I have become so much more insecure with my weight, my personality, my talents, and overall just accepting who I am as a person. 

I found this song the other day and it definitely hit me hard for some reason. I see girls struggling with self harm, eating disorders, aggression, respect, and overall self worth and I wish that could just tell them that everything is going to be ok!